Attachment Style Quiz

Attachment theory, developed by psychologist John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth, explains how early bonds with caregivers shape the way we connect in adult relationships. The core idea is simple: the emotional availability (or unavailability) of the people who raised us creates an internal working model — a template for how we expect love to work.

These patterns tend to persist unless we consciously examine and reshape them. This attachment style quiz is based on those foundational ideas, adapted for modern romantic relationships.

There are four widely recognized attachment styles. Secure attachment is characterized by comfort with intimacy and healthy independence. Anxious-preoccupied attachment involves a strong desire for closeness paired with fear of abandonment. Dismissive-avoidant attachment centers on self-reliance and emotional distance as a protection strategy.

Fearful-avoidant (disorganized) attachment combines the desire for connection with deep distrust, often resulting in a push-pull dynamic. Most people lean toward one style but may show traits from others depending on the relationship.

Attachment styles aren't fixed — they can shift with awareness, practice, and sometimes professional support. Start by noticing your automatic reactions in relationships: do you reach out or withdraw under stress? Do you seek reassurance or avoid vulnerability? Naming these patterns is the first step toward changing them.

Therapy modalities like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) are specifically designed to help individuals and couples move toward secure attachment. Consistent, safe relationships — including friendships — can also serve as a corrective experience over time.